This is the first web page I ever created. I like to keep it around just for sentiment. It was a weird idea that came to me while I was studying for my Pharmocology final exam.

If this is too strange for you, just remember, I wasn't that way before med school got to me ! I realize I'm even starting to enjoy watching Beavis and Butthead. (By the way, a little medical trivia: Butthead has Gingival Hyperplasia and Beavis has Hyperthroidism. Check it out next time you watch them.)


Dr. Vic's Discount Crematorium
Are you afraid of the fraud in the funeral business ? Don't want to take out a second mortgage to pay for a plot ? Well, you've come to the right place, 'cause we can take care of your loved one for a fraction of what you'd pay at retail funeral homes !

How can we do it ?
Simple. We eliminate the overhead you'd pay at the other places. I mean, who really needs a pot-bellied, chain-smoking bald guy to tell you how much your loved-one will be missed ? Yeah, its obvious you miss 'em. Now, you get to just keep those good memories and then move on.


Check out these specials !
Elegante' $19.95
Simplify ! Simplify ! The eternal blue flame (of propane) will immerse your loved-one in its soothing warmth. A deluxe whisk-broom will be used to collect the ashes to be disposed along with yesterday's coffee grinds.


Magnifique $26.95
Dust-to-dust and ashes-to-ashes ! Your loved-one's charred remains will be blended with select dandelion flowers, poppy seeds, and our special tarter sauce. Then they will be spread upon a toasted bun and consumed by Urna, an elephant at the Tri-Tops Traveling Circus. Urna will most gently disperse the loving blend across the nation as she performs under the Big Top.


Magna $42.50
For the adventurer ! The same special organic blend as used in Magnifique above, plus the deceased will be one step closer to heaven when his/her remains are launched into inner orbit aboard a modified Estes model rocket.


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